I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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