So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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