I just made out with a guy for $7.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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