Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We are all done wearing pants today
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
