I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
