Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I love how my cats smell like pot.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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