meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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