she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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