My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
