your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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