All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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