Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he just fucked me for my cheese.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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