I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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