i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You did what with his pubic hair?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
