so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
