Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
