im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
