literally had 100 drinks last night.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
