Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize