i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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