He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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