Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
