Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
