Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
