every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
