i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
