so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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