moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
