Please, let me fuck your mom
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize