Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
