What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
