I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
