i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
