I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
