She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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