you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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