so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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