with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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