You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
