My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize