you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
