Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just googled if crying burns calories
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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