He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
her vagine was all disorganized.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
