Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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