Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
