Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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