If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
