Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
