She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
