I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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