Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
