I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
