Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
