I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
