you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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