Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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