Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize