Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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