I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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