I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
