found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
