lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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