That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
soo... how was my night?
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