This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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